Dating age 55

However, in my experience, you can still have a beard or a mustache and be groomed; there's a difference. So that's very true. For the older gentlemen, send a nice nice message, whatever you want that fits your style, but you can still groom it, it's not all crazy out there. So that's what I get, I love that.

So what's the next step now that we're all groomed up and no fish, and we're all looking gorgeous? How do we sift and sort people, you want to go through that? So the next step in getting your online dating profile such that you get some play, you get some responses, is what you write. What you want to think about are two things; number one, you want to write what you're looking for more than you want to write about who you are.

Who you are is good, but what you're doing is you're calling in the one. What you're doing is you're saying I'm a 68 year old woman, my children are grown, I've got some grandchildren locally , I like to go to senior center and do the pottery crafting that they do there, I walk every day with my German short-haired pointer, and I love to gamble in Vegas two times a year; looking for a great guy with a good sense of humor, who's well-groomed and loves to laugh for wonderful companionship for these golden years of my life.

By the way, that was great copy, I say take that; that was so really good, write that down ladies.

Online dating leaves middle-aged women in 'single wilderness'

That was very good, that will definitely call in, I think, a very nice man. There are some other things that you need to know about writing your profile and those are things that are deal-breakers for you. For example, once you've done your relationship values, and you understand what your top four relationship needs are, you can put that in your profile. Whatever your things are, whatever your deal-breakers are; if they must love God, if you're an atheist, if you smoke or don't smoke, or you're 4: So you just put it all right out there because then you're not going be wasting a lot of time replying to people who aren't a match.

You're using your profile to qualify, to pre-qualify, people before they even reach out to you. Then, by the time people do reach out to you and you start talking to them, that's when you get a better fit, a better prospective fit so you're less frustrated by the process, and I do want to talk about the frustrating part of online dating.

There's a lot of frustrating parts of online dating.

Straight, Single, and Sixty: The Truth About Dating After 55 -

I want to sum it up here real quick, so go checkout theseniorlist. We have talked about a lot already, but we're going to keep going. Again, we're talking about new relationships and how to date. So we talked about what you're going do on your online profile, we are going to talk about how you start the sift and sorting process and what you put on your profile.

Straight, Single, and Sixty: The Truth About Dating After 55

We've talked about making sure you have your values super clear in your head when you start this process, so you know what your match is. The next step is really where it can get frustrating because you're going to get a lot of people emailing you if you're a woman, and hardly anybody emailing you if you're a man. It's just the way things work; testosterone pursues estrogen; so men pursue women.

6 Rules for Dating Over 50- Engaged at Any Age - Coach Jaki

Now, if it were me, always reply to every man who contacts you and at least go look at his profile and give him a compliment of some kind because it is very, very lonely for guys to be on online dating because most women never reply to them at all. You can bring your kind heart and at least encourage them to keep going even if it's not a match for you. The second thing is don't make quick assumptions about them based on their picture and profile. Generally, men are not that great at writing their profiles and not that great at taking pictures of themselves. So like we women do, you have to look at that and go could I clean that up?

Is there a diamond in the rough there? There probably is because guys are such lovely people, they're such lovely men and most of them, they just mean the best. But, you do have to be careful. So here's what you want to do. You want to qualify. You don't want to start just saying yes I'll go on a date, yes I'll go on a date, yes I'll go on a date; because then you're going to start going on a lot of dates that aren't really right for you.

So really what you want to do is once you know your relationship values, you want to just start talking about them. I'm the kind of person who can hear anything, so I want you to say anything to me, like your deepest concerns and fears, things that you've been struggling with, the joys that are happening in your life right now, and just get a sense if that guy can really step up and meet you where you need to be met. You do this through the chatting application right on your phone, or from your computer; you can respond back and forth. If the guy says why do we have to do all this online talking?

Why don't we just get together for coffee? You have to say to him it's very important for me to make sure that I have thoroughly vetted a guy. I want to know what you do for a living, why you're not in a relationship now, what happened with your past relationships.

I want to understand if you're close to your family, and if you have children and you're close to them. I want to understand what you do for a living. I want to make sure that we're an intellectual match; that my IQ and your IQ are kind of the right thing. I want to make sure that we have values matched around our faith, if that's something that's important to you. I want to make sure that you're in a good financial situation; you don't have to be rich and take care of me, but I don't want to date someone who has a lot of financial problems; it's just not where I want to be right now.

So this is my way of getting to know you and seeing, in fact, if we're a match or not. Now for a guy, it's a little bit different. He is going to want to understand many of those things about his woman, this prospective woman, but really what I think he's going to want to know most about her is how is her health? How is she doing getting out and around? Is she in good shape? Because women can get delicate and it can be difficult for men if the woman is not in good health, and so these are things that you want to check both directions.

How often do they drink? Do they get out and get exercise? Are they reading good things that are good for their mind? What you're doing is you're prizing yourself by qualifying that person over the chat. If they're too impatient to answer the questions, there's likely a skeleton in the closet, which means you just say I'm not sure we're a values match. Thank you so much for connecting with me, I really do appreciate it. It means a lot that you liked my profile, and if I meet anybody that I think might be good, I'll circle back and say I met someone I'd like to introduce you to, but for me, right now, I don't think we're a match.

By the way, I think that's a good out. What's wrong with me? What did I do wrong? Versus we're not a value match, just kinda holding their ground. In my experience, being over 40, over 45, over 50; you have to be really careful as a woman. You don't always know who you're talking to, even a person sometimes on the apps, meaning I've see before where all of a sudden, there's two or three profiles with the same person.

You're like it's not the right person so you don't even know what's going on. So you have to be really careful and make sure your going through the right process. Let me ask you this question, when do you move from the app to a phone call, or do you go right from app to, I don't know, coffee meet and greets? The next step is deciding whether you're going to have a phone call or have, what I call, a meet and greet. For some people, they're just not big phone talkers. So it's perfectly fine if you're not that person so meet someone for a cup of coffee, but don't go on a first date.

That's the other piece I want to tell you about is I really want you to give yourself the permission to allow you to choose for chemistry.

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I don't want you to think to yourself the kind of person I date should have this, or should have this, or should be like this, my family would expect this, or my friends would expect this; I want you to pick because you are excited by that person. Even if you never expected to go for a tattooed biker guy, if he's the guy you like, then go for that.

Follow your heart and follow your body; let your body's intuition be a big part of what guides you in choosing who it is that you desire because there's so much sensual pleasure to be had in your later years when men slow down a little, they become better lovers, and women as we age, we just get better, and better, and better in bed.

So at this time of your life, this is the time when you should be picking for that lusty soul that still lives inside you if you're in good enough shape to enjoy that. Remember that it doesn't have to be about making love, I'm not even saying that, what I'm saying is that you can have a relationship that's full of hugs, and cuddles, and massages, and closeness, physical closeness. That's what we all yearn for, and so when you're thinking about who you are interested in, choose someone that you would enjoy being held by, or that you would enjoy touching and holding hands with.

Don't leave that piece behind, really honor that piece of you because that burns in all of us until the day we die, and by shutting it down, you're missing one of the most beautiful aspects of relationship. That's pretty impressive, so we have gone through complete gamut. We went from values, creating our values and making sure we know our values. The next piece is getting onto online dating, really accepting that, the different types of online dating.

The need for relationships and sex never ends. Some centurions are still having sex! With the right attitude, and these ingredients, dating is a winning proposition:. Keep your sense of humor. Seriously, what else is there? Remember that all three legs of the stool count.

The financial, the psychological, and the physical are three of the key components for a successful relationship. Score high on each, and you just may have a winner. Your mother is still right: There are other fish in the sea, even older fish. This generation rebels against condoms-most were lucky enough to dodge the AIDS epidemic because of long-term relationships. But the fifty-five-plus demographic has one of the fastest growing HIV diagnoses. Use lots of lube! Expect intimacy, not sex.

Listen to Episode 01

In bed, take the emphasis off intercourse and let go of orgasm-mania from your twenties and thirties. Think pleasure, not performance.

Always keep time for friends. They will sustain you long after the latest love interest has gone. Laugh at the foibles! Kathy, sixty-six, checked her make-up and decided she looked younger without her glasses. Okay, ready to flirt. She grabbed the sample in the foil packet. Hours later…sheets move, hands wander, mouths connect, and breath comes fast. Kathy grabs the lube, rips open the packet, and lowers it under the sheets. If a date were to give you crabs, that would make you feel the lowest of the low.

You never could tell. Dating has always been fraught with worries. In the 80s, when I was dating first time round, crabs were definitely to be feared. Last month, a magazine named me as one of the 80s It Girls. My children asked me, "What's an It Girl? Always worked, no handbags and a sceptical view of "fun-loving".

Dating for young women, even the "cool girls", is rarely the "fun" it is cracked up to be. Indeed, dating for women at any age. Three decades later, I am back in the game. I'm working hard on not making the same mistakes as before, and mainly failing, though doing my best to maintain some measure of midlife dignity in the face of a frankly undignified pastime.

Well, at least I shall be spared one humiliation. Now that everyone's shaving to the nth degree to achieve the full lacquered finish of a Chinese box, crabs are toast, apparently, no longer "presenting" in doctors' surgeries.

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I scored the happy ending for a while; was married to an exceptional and wonderful man. It wasn't part of the plan that I have — reluctantly — found myself back in the game. I never really learned how to play successfully and had hoped, when I got married, that I could put all that misery behind me. I have just turned My age and stage, as well as the times, mean the game bears almost no resemblance to the one I knew and has become all the more tricky and bewildering.

There is a new raft of considerations I never had to face back in the day. A couple of months or so ago, I had a fling with someone much younger; something of an eye-opener in more ways than one, but I don't regret it for a moment. It came about in a way that was slow-burning and then completely unexpected, most of all to myself.

My friends were gratifyingly agog and full of safely married encouragement. I have no idea how I did it. I have spent my life crucified by my curves, eating disorders and all, and these days I am worried about wrinkles as well as fat and physical flaws. But the venture was so incredibly exciting, if so madcap and doomed, that I found I didn't care what I looked like.

It was almost as if the absence of competition — how could I possess the youthful attributes of women his age? I had to assume he appreciated qualities which I had and which they did not. This was fantastically liberating. The other worry my friends voiced was porn. How could I compete with women his age who had been force-fed a diet of the stuff and learned practices and techniques that had doubtless never crossed my boring married mind? In the olden days, we had an expression — good in bed — which seems hopelessly unfit for purpose in Only in a bed? My hopeful answer was that plenty of men wax lyrical about the older women with whom they had flings when they were young.

Surely no amount of mechanical "technique" learned from the internet can replace experience? Friends asked if it was odd dating someone younger. Curiously, despite the gulf of reference and experience, not at all. We liked and respected each other.