You will not be obsessing over them so much and you will be able to concentrate on your happiness more. A rebound relationship is simply an attempt to fill a hole in your life that was left by an ex. Another way to describe a rebound relationship is an attempt to avoid the pain of the breakup. Being intimately close to someone gives us a feeling of security and a boost to our self-esteem. After a breakup, that intimacy is gone in a matter of few days and you are left feeling empty.
A rebound relationship gives you hope. It gives you a chance to feel that level of intimacy again. It gives you hope to fill that empty feeling inside you. This is the reason why most of the rebound relationships seem to move so fast. Because a rebound relationship is an attempt to reach the level of intimacy that only long-term relationships have.
Suppose the name of your ex is Jane. Jane feels empty after she left you. She has an old friend Garry who comforts her, she finds herself attracted to him. She feels that perhaps this guy can make all her pain and the emptiness go away. So she starts dating him. Whenever she is with him, her mind is not thinking about the breakup and you. But still whenever she is alone, the pain comes back.
She thinks if Garry and her start having sex, she will feel much closer to Garry and perhaps forget you. So they start sleeping together. Even though the sex is great, she is still not at peace with herself. At this point, most people realize that this new relationship will not bring them the peace and happiness they were hoping it would. But Jane is having a hard time accepting that. She thinks that the new relationship, despite not being what she expected, is still giving her some level of comfort.
She continues her relationship, in hope that her level of intimacy with Garry will increase and the empty feeling inside her will slowly go away. She makes pathetic attempts to move the relationship faster hoping that she can gain the same level of intimacy that comes from long-term relationship. But yet, here she is, rushing a relationship faster than a speeding bullet. The story of Jane demonstrates a classic rebound behavior. Eventually, Jane would breakup with Garry and will try to deal with her breakup pain.
She might feel that she is in love with Garry because Garry provides her with comfort and an escape from the pain that she desires deeply. Garry is a temporary solution that is alleviating the pain, but he is not the cure. But soon enough, she will realize her relationship with Garry for what it is. She is still empty and she can only be at peace with herself when she decides to face the breakup pain. And after they breakup with you, they start a relationship with someone who has no career and no life goals whatsoever.
In some cases, your ex will choose someone who is completely opposite of you in every possible way. This is again, very common rebound behavior. The reason behind this behavior is overcompensation. They think that finding someone completely opposite will probably give them happiness. Someone who is not even compatible with their life goal. Someone who is not even their type. They are not thinking of a long-term relationship.
They are thinking of a short term rebound relationship which will hopefully help them get over the breakup. A very common sign of a rebound relationship is whether or not they are trying to rub in your face. One of the most common indicators of this behavior is their social media profile Facebook, twitter etc. Of course, this behavior is subjective. You know your ex better than anyone, so you are the best judge if they are doing it to rub it in your face or not. One of the examples of this social media behavior that I want to share came from one of my readers.
She posted on his Facebook wall whether or not he wants to move to Australia with her next year when she wants to do her PhD. How can she go for some guy who has no plan for his future and could move to another country just like that? She always said she wanted someone who has some goals in life. First of all, which couple discusses big life decision on their Facebook wall? She clearly posted this message for her ex to see. Which shows she is not over him and is most probably in a rebound. On the other end of the spectrum, there are exes who will try to hide their new relationship from you.
This is fairly uncommon and it could mean two things. After all, you know your ex and your situation better than anyone else. If they are in a rebound, you still have to apply the no contact rule and follow the 5-step plan. If you are looking to get your ex girlfriend or ex wife back, then you should check out this article. It will be the most comprehensive guide you will ever read and it will give you objectives you can set for yourself as you are moving forward in this journey to get your ex girlfriend back. In addition, you might also want to read this article on what to do if your ex boyfriend is in another relationship.
Scroll down to read the comments. Before commenting, read commenting guidelines. He already has a new girlfriend after 2 months. Is this a rebound? He seems so in love. So me and my ex have been around 1 year but things started coming down from half year, i started talking to my ex while having something serious with my boyfriend, and he felt sad a lot and begged me to stop it, i didnt listen and he got tired of begging so he broke up with me and inmediately started having something with a girl, he is a serious and mature guy so i cant tell if it is a rebound relationship, also his new girlfriend is far away from him so that makes it a long distant relationship.
I made a huge mistake on begging him because i was devastated but he still comforted me and promised to get back with me, the only reason he hasnt done it is because he doesnt want to hurt his new girlfriend feelings. What should i do. It is likely a rebound, and you're probably going to have let him make a decision on his own by being patient and not acting needy in the meantime. Basically the girl i dated ended things with me to go back to her ex. I'm very confused because I dont know if i was the rebound or is he?
She dated me in july after breaking up with her ex in april It's a little hard to tell for certain and it would depend on who she feels more connected to at the end of the day. Based on the situation though, there's a possibility that you were the rebound, because even though she gave more to you, she still felt connected enough to her ex to end up leaving the relationship to be with him.
What will i do? Do I still need to hold on? Has there ever been a consideration to reduce the distance and begin living together eventually, considering that you have a 2 year old daughter with him? If distance is the issue here which caused him to get intimate with someone else, this is something that has to be considered before you think about winning him back. Also, you'll have to do what's best for you and your kid, and I personally wouldn't recommend simply holding on for the sake of it. I was in a 3 year relationship.
We parted ways back in March , but it wasn't a "real" breakup. We just decided we didn't get along anymore and would be better off on our own, which was the stupidest thing to do. We kept on seeing each other, calling, texting, etc. This changed in June. I noticed a change in her approach, as if her focus shifted. She didn't speak to me the way she used to and kept breaking up text conversations in the middle. I felt she was slipping away, but did nothing about it.
I reached out like three times and then my pride took over and I was like: We talked briefly and then hours later when I saw her alone I grabbed her and told her I love her and asked if she's happy with him. A week later I left a love letter and a bunch of pictures of us throughout the years at her house and spoke to her mum. She texted me the next day saying that she still thinks of me, but a lot of time has passed and things are not what they used to be.
She said that she wants to speak to me, but she's not ready to have that conversation yet. Now give me that time. The conversation turned into analyzing past mistakes and unwanted behaviour during our relationship and me declaring I had changed my ways. She reaffirmed that she still thinks of me, but has moved on, that time heals and that she started to build her life from scratch. She did not respond to my last email in that conversation.
Is Your Ex In a Rebound Relationship? Find Out With These Telltale Signs
It's been over a week now since that email conversation and I haven't contacted her in any way. Please advise if there are still chances to turn things around and get back together. I will really appreciate your feedback. It's normal that she would still think of you from time to time since you both did share 3 years worth of memories together. Under these circumstances, it's not impossible to win her back because she would undoubtedly still have some feelings for you. However, whether those feelings are ignited once again or end in a form of closure would depend on what you do.
I would suggest giving her the space she had requested and not text her daily for the time being, but continue reaching out every now and then. Those times you do reach out, keep the conversation light-hearted and on a positive note, and avoid bringing up getting back together until she is ready. Just build upon positive memories for now to help remind her of the good times she once shared with you and never let your emotions or uncertainty get the better of you. Hello, I was hoping for some additional insight from someone.
My situation is sort of unique. Both my ex and I are men. I am 25 and he is We were engaged for a year prior to him leaving me, and we were together for almost four years. He left now me a little over 4 months ago, but we still spoke and hung out almost every day for a long time afterward.
We also had sex often. Now he tells me he is interested in a coworker of ours. The coworker is 17, and my ex is trying to pursue a relationship with him. Two days before they hung out for the first time, my ex and I had sex for what may be the last time. He said he wanted to focus on the possible new relationship with the coworker and not think about our past because it still hurts him.
I would like to be friends with him too. But the difficult part is that this new relationship will be right in my face on a daily basis. Keep in mind that your ex being only 21, probably has a different frequency from you in terms of what he's seeking out. At this point, there's a likelihood that he's still curious to explore and therefore might have lost interest in the current relationship to pursue something novel.
There's not much that can be done at this point, except to either win him back or to wait it out and hope it's merely a phase he's going through. I was hoping for some insight. We had been dating for 3 years. A year and a half of which was long distance. We have so much in common and shes perfect. Ive dated alot of girls. So we got in a couple small fights December and January over the diatance but still resolved them. In February I send her gifts for valentines day. Which she later said she liked.
Literally days following that she tells me we should minimize communication because she has a boyfriend now. Which was weird because like I said there was no evidence prior. We continued to talk regardless a for a few weeks then she completely shut me out. Since then I wouldnt stop contacting her which was bad I know. I was in her city a few weeks ago and told her to call me so we could link. She called and as hard as I tried I couldnt help but ask several questions about her relationship. She said she cant tell me when it became serious which was odd to me.
Yet she said she met him last summer. I got made and she said shed call me back never did. I have yet to go no contact with her for long. I feel like she would of never called me if they werent. As you were in a long distance relationship with her, it may have been the reason she moved on to a new partner so quickly to which she may have felt a loss of spark for awhile but never had a reason to bring it up until she fell for someone else.
This would also contribute towards her being able to detach herself from you so easily after the breakup. You should try going into no contact but not simply with the focus of winning her back, but more so to work on yourself and give both parties space. After NC has ended, you can decide again whether you want to win her back or not and follow the steps in our articles for more help. My ex and I been together for almost four years. Well anyway, he broke up with me almost three months ago.
Life pretty much gotten in the way from a miscarriage from him losing his car and his place. As of right now he and her are doing long distance rebound and I want him back. He told me he wants me to heal first and then he would be interested in pursuing a relationship with me.
Is there any tips for me? Perhaps spend this time working on things you felt could have contributed towards any issues during the relationship, and maybe even consider improving your appearance or working on your self-confidence in general. Use this article for more guidelines to follow. It's been well over a month after we broke up, I did the No-Contact for about 40 days. She texted me 3 times during this period.
I have accidentally met her with her new guy at a pub we first met - she doesn't go there often. The guy approached me later and we had a chat - now I know that they argue a lot and she was telling him about me much. She joined us and quickly became upset and angry, she asked the guy to leave her - he refused, seemed needy and was trying to hold her.
A few times he looked like he was about to leave, but eventually they both stayed for a while. When I went to grab another beer she was looking at me. BUT - she texted me today asking why can't we just be friends, and repeated that we will never get back together. Then we chatted some more. I am lost, I was cool about them the entire time, but I want her back. Can I make it happen? It's likely that she still has feelings for you but has developed an internal conflict with herself because she's still in a relationship, hence her sudden text to you to try and validate her own thoughts.
You did fine by acting cool throughout, and you could continue to respond to her in that manner and slowly show off the changes you've made since the breakup to come across as more attractive. Hi, Thanks for reply. I did continue to text with her, we switched to phone texts rather than FB messages. She is aware of my progress, mabe just not realised how much better I am now in full. But she again sent a picture of a gift from her new boyfriend - a laptop.
This is another time he gives her something expensive. I am under impression that he needs to give her expensive stuff because he has no value. Now - I responded saying "Cool" and then texted her that "I am still hungover XD" - she new I was at the party yesterday. This might have been a mistake. But believe me, when I spoke to her new guy he legitimately asked me how I handled her moods. Like he was asking for advice. Further to the above, what's my next step? Should I just continue to be "just" friends with her and wait? The problem is she lives at his place, can't go back to her parents.
He can see everything we speak about via fb messages, not sure about other ways of communication. And I don't feel like she would agree to meet up soon either, I told her I was going rollerblading on Sunday and mentioned briefly she can join in, but she refused - she told me she has to work on her drawings for university. Oh, and one more thing worth mentioning - when we were texting on Sunday she asked me if I accepted the breakup and the fact that we will never get back together.
In terms of her perspective, her guard could still be up against you and she feels inclined to remind you that 'we've broken up', it sounds like because of her erratic mood as well, that she might swing from feelings of confusion towards both parties from time to time. You could continue to be friends with her at this point, or actually go back to NC for now because it may still be too soon to make a move. We've been texting for a week now. On Wednasday she called me at midnight, asking if she could stay some nights she mentioned she got new job and it would be far away, but if I am correct where they live the communication is great.
She did not show up though. When I asked her on Friday how's her new job, she texted me back when she was finished, asking if I want to pick her up. I wanted to, but she ended up going back home - at first I panicked, but later it occured me that I basically asked her to wait for me for an hour and move a few tram stops to meet me, so no hard feelings.
She also asked me if I would join them I believe she meant her and her bf on some cultural event last night, I told her I don't think I will be there but we will see as my friend wants to go out with me. Then we texted some more, she was asking me for advice again. So, as I see it, she either wants to mess with my head, or really wants me back but won't take any drastic actions for now.
She hasn't texted me yet today and it is 7PM. I feel like going back to NC and waiting more will not bring me good this time. They already are together over a month and a half, the longer I wait, the closer they get together. I think that if I go about it right, they might break up soon, that is if she has feelings for me. So me and my ex who's also the mother of my child of 9 years broke up with me due to the fact she fell out of love for me and felt like we're growing apart and she is seeing a co-worker like a week after our break up i ask her who he is and did she sleep with him but she refuse to give me the truth and when i ask her for a date she say stuff like why and then when and quickly say no i can't your my ex and I'm seeing someone so my question is is he a rebound and is it worth my time waiting for her or should i move on and the guy she seeing usually isn't her type.
The fact that the relationship lasted 9 years and he isn't her type strongly indicates that he is a rebound. Go into NC for now with the exception of contacting her with regards to your child's matters and focus on improving yourself while waiting for this phase of hers to pass.
5 Things Not to Do When You See Your Ex With Someone New
Me and my ex were together for 5 years. We broke up a month ago over trust issues I caused in the first year of us dating. But she has been seeing and talking with a guy she met at a party a few days after the break up. A few days ago they made it official, I guess. Honestly after I heard she slept with him at the party I went crazy and bugged her everyday for a few weeks. She would talk with me some, giving me mixed feelings and signals, both good and bad.
But now I am blocked on everything and haven't had any contact with her since her and him got together. If I start this now, do you think I still have a chance?
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She's told me she's done and doesn't want anything more to do with me, but this time last year we went through the same thing she was hateful towards me , she just says stuff when she's upset and she doesnt mean them. Give it some time to see if she means it or not. In the meantime since this guy may be a rebound, simply focus on improving yourself and applying no contact for the time being. My ex and i were together almost 9 years and we broke up 2 months ago.
I told her I was willing to try and she was not. I told her if she was just looking for an excuse to be single and date other people that I would at least like to know that because I feel I deserve that truth so i can move on. I implemented no contact after that last interaction for a month. I then called her one day and she answered, we spoke for bit and it went really well so I asked if she wanted to meet for coffee quick to catch up.
I waited another week and called again, same scenario we spoke for 20 minutes and it was going well, and we were both actually in the same area so i asked if she wanted to get that coffee but she had plans with a friend. So tentatively made plans for a few days later and when i texted her that morning to ask if she was still free that day, no response at all, completely ignored.
Since you've been together with her for the last 9 years, its highly likely that she is going through a rebound relationship right now. She may be confused between subconsciously wanting to meet you and her mind telling her not to, which has resulted in this mixture of negative and positive responses. In my opinion, it would be a good idea to take it slow with her, and try not to give her any pressure but only good memories at each point of contact you have with her for the time being, to let her decision become a little less conflicted.
Yet she still text me and we still in touch until 2 weeks ago. I read your article and I give her space like weeks. Before no contact she doing fine and tell me that she still loved me. After 3 weeks no contact, I send her letter and she's reply my text cynically and said she is already close with someone else but not in relationship yet.
I admit my mistake and try to call her but she's reject it. Do I need longer the NC period? What should I do? She may currently be in a stage of rebound, or there's a small chance that she may have started to process the breakup and begun to move on since the break up was 4 months ago. Regardless, because she has responded negatively towards you, avoid pressuring her any further for now and instead focus on yourself. You could try again in about a week or two and see how she responds then. Ok, me and my girl been together 10 years im 31 she is 29, we met on social media i lived in a different state but she lived in a state i use to live, but my mom an sisters and friends still lived there.
Me im wondering if i have a shot? Yes, it would be better to avoid her during this period of no contact. Have a read through this article as we have a section on how to handle no contact if you live in the same household. Hey, me and my girlfriend were together over a year long distance. I spent a few months with here and she Came here too, about a month and a half ago we broke up and we have barely spoken since.
She started dating a girl which after reading about rebounds I believe she is in one with her. I assume we will be around each other a lot so how do I go about winning her back? How should I approach winning her back when she gets here because I know she will still very much have feelings for me as I do for her I just need to get them out of her? I think the best thing you can do is to build up a level of comfort with her, so that whatever she feels can be expressed naturally without any reservations. Be sincere, fun, caring, and if she genuinely misses you, there would be a high chance that her expressions would show.
Hey I spoke to her today a little and she seems exited about spending time with me when she gets here. And a few weeks ago she said no and she never actually gave me an answer today. I have a one year baby with him we planned to marry. In october last year we had a serious fight and we partly broke up. In December we attempted to make it work again,only to learn he had been engaged to someone else and she was also pregnant. I asked him why he did that he said because i pushed him but he still wants me and he is going to break the engagement.
Todate there is still a lot of tension and i feel hurt. A number of times he had tried to show off but i didnt realise what was happening. During the break he had been sending the pregnant girl to drop my baby things he bought. We have been fighting a lot over this but he still cant let me go saying we are going to work it out.
I even confronted the girl telling her he has been dating the both of us,he told to her that we had permanently broken up and she seemed to enjoy dropping my babys things as it proves an end to our relationship. This time around he is not hiding the fact that he still wants me inspite of his situation with her,he played damb when i told him i was going to let the other girl know what has been going on. Right now i've decided to go no contact because it has been eating me up;although here and there he reaches out to me about the baby and I respond.
What must I do? I still love him and somehow blame myself for what happened. Firstly, you have to stop blaming yourself for whatever happened. Regardless of whether you pushed him away, his current actions of wanting the best of both worlds is wrong and should not be entertained. It's not about giving him an ultimatum, but instead doing what's best for you emotionally and mentally. NC seems like the best thing you can do right now, and if he contacts you regarding your child, you can still go ahead to reply if it's important but otherwise, limit small talk for the time being and focus on yourself instead.
I cheated on her and covered it up for a month lying about stuff i didn't do. I ended up admitting it to her, and it was super hard and she dumped me the next day. She had been hitting me up occasionally saying she misses me and still loves me, that if we were both single in June and I changed I may have a chance to get her back.
This was like the first 4 weeks. She hit me up a couple more weeks, like once a week.
Then after February 29 she stopped. Its been a month and a half now after the breakupp and she told me two days ago after asking if she still loved me that she loves me as that she cares about me, that she misses me as a best friend, but not as a boyfriend. She said that she isn't looking past my dishonesty, lying, and immaturity.
That she has already started hanging out with someone new, has went on a couple dates and hung out a couple times. Is it too late? You still have a chance, but you have to give her more time to let go of the past incident and for you to show her that you've changed. I suggest applying No Contact for now, and work on yourself in the meantime before trying to start a friendship with her once more.
Is the new guy a rebound? It is also my birthday in like two days, what happens if she messages me. You could definitely reply her with a thank you but keep the conversation short if possible. It's still too early to tell if the new guy is a rebound, but is usually is the case. She just messaged me and I said thank you. She then told me i hope ur doing well and left the conversation at that. Im going to go on the no contact situation now for a month or two.
Things were looking bad towards the past 6 months of our relationship as I needed time alone but my ex girlfriend needed attention and companionship which I failed to give her.. And not to make her choose between her new partner or me. Is she in a rebound? Although she said it is better that I move on and forget about her, she also still wants to play the online games we play together as she still likes spending time with me. What should I do..?
We are going to get married in the game we play this weekend. She knows I still love her, and I know she loves her partner. Could she be lying? What should I do Some individuals require constant attention and companionship from their partner or they begin to latch on to a new person when those needs are not met. Either way, she seems to be more inclined to her new partner at this point, to which you shouldn't overthink small gestures that may not mean anything because that will drive you crazy.
From how I see things, your ex may actually be someone who is drawn to the person that makes her feel positive, while showing her lots of attention and care.
Here’s What You Need To Realize If Your Ex Moved On Quickly
If you're able to deal with that and start as friends but perhaps using the game as a way to build a positive bond with her, you might still have a chance. However, if you don't think you can go through with things smiling and pretending to be ok especially while she remains with her current partner , it might be more advisable to move on. Thanks for your reply Ryan. Regardless, no contact should still be applied, whether it's to give her space to miss you, or even space for you to pick yourself up. Hi , so me and my ex have been together for 2 years i broke up with her about a month ago , this was the 4th time we have broken up and I've done it 3 out of the 4 times , I realized it that I need to change and I love her but she got a new job 2 weeks ago and started seeing somebody else , he s giving her the attention and all the sweetness I started lacking in , they work at the same place and same hours , she said she doesn't know if it's the right choice or not but she's guna try it with the new guy , I tryed everything to convince her but she said she loves me but is afraid we will get together then I will dump her again , what shoujld I do , just let it go and let her try it with the guy.
I've tryed everything ,she said she loves me but yet what's to try something new cause she's happy with this guy they work same place and same shift , he gives her rides home buy her flowers. Given her current fears right now, even if you win her back, she would still be ridden with the insecurities that you would break up with her at any point down the road.
Since she has expressed that she intends to give it a shot with the other guy, you might have to respect that for now, and only try again if they were to end things. It seems like the guy may be a rebound relationship considering that it started pretty recent after the breakup with you. We broke up a month ago and i was like a crazy stalky and jealous ex She kept telling me that she wanted some space and time, that she wanted to be alone, and wanting to respect her choice i cope up with that for 1 week then the miss was too hard and talked and it always finished in a fight and she blocked me on all social media.
Since you've already gotten blocked and acted needy, you should give her some space for now and begin no contact instead. Fighting on under these circumstances would only ruin your chances further in getting back together with her. Yes I had completed NC and it went very well.
But I think you're right.. She had been giving me a hard time about a few things, I did try my best to resolve those negative thoughts, because like you said in the 5 step plan its important to talk and sort stuff like this out. I know shes had been speaking to someone else so I don't know if that's playing on her mind. When I told her that it was best to leave things she kept looking at old photos from stuff we've done together and showing me, so she clearly was emotional about it.
Perhaps I need to change my approach and maybe start being a bit more strong headed? If you genuinely want her back, being strong headed might not be the best idea as it may push her further away instead, reminding her of the past. Remember that you're supposed to have changed and improved for the better, so if something is bothering you regarding her, perhaps its best you be honest about those feelings and show her you're capable of communicating effectively. This might increase her affection towards you and even assure her that your change is something permanent.
I was with this girl for over a year. We never got intimate as she wanted to get married. I went out of my way for her supported her financially, accepted and loved her son and family, she never posted anything about us on her social media and in December a week before Christmas we went to Hawaii with some friends.
We broke up while in Hawaii, and 2 months after that trip she changes all her profile pictures to her and a new guy kissing. Ive made no contact since we got back, I was so hurt but seeing that picture made me close that chapter to know she didnt love me but used me. I'm so sorry to hear that Chris, we sincerely hope that you'll be able to pick yourself up in time, and find happiness once more down the road. So on Friday I met up with my ex..
We had quite a lengthy chat about a lot of stuff. We both had quite abit to drink and I was planning on staying over anyway. I was wondering if you could give me some advice on how to approach this? If you've already completed NC, the fact that she still doesn't see a future could either mean she hasn't fully let go of the negative emotions from the breakup, or that she really doesn't see a future with you at the moment although it's clear that she still has feelings for you.
You could consider replying and slowly working your way towards winning her back by giving her more space, or decide to walk away from things. Okay not looking for advice but would just like to comment that your advice worked too well! After 3 months of doing me, getting a new car, getting a new job, losing 20 lbs and looking and feeling great, my ex came back and said he was over his rebound and wanted to get back together.
We talked for about 5 days and he said he thought I deserved better than him and I was doing so great he didn't want to interrupt that - and went back to the rebound chick. Honestly it was very helpful though - made me realize that he's childish with commitment problems and I deserve better than whatever he is serving. Thanks for the advice! We're really proud of what you've achieved and we hope that these changes have made your life much better.
All the best to you! My ex broke up with me. I just moved out Jan. He says she means nothing to him but yet he spends every weekend with her including Christmas and New Year's.
He said it's not cheating because he been told me he wasn't happy. Should I just forget about him? If the break up occurred prior to the start of him seeing another girl, then yes it wasn't cheating. However, if he had started seeing that person while you were still together, and even living under the same roof, he isn't worth it since he doesn't seem to understand the context of cheating or what it means to be in a relationship.
I was with this girl for about to years. It was a long distance relationship and we felt we were made for each other. She always wanted to communicate with me and she told me how much she loved me. We argued sometimes and she'll block on social media me but later come back telling me how she missed me and liked me. Just recently she told me she didn't wanna be in a relationship with me and wanted to be alone and that she doesn't like me. She wants to be just friends but I really love this girl and I want her.
She doesn't text me as she used to and when I text her she doesn't reply. It's like she doesn't care about me anymore. I did the no contact and got in touch with her, she's just been cold. If no contact did not work, you might want to think about why she may be acting this way. It may be necessary to go about no contact once more for a longer period before contacting her again. However, the alternative to that if you aren't able to cope emotionally is to be fair to yourself and consider walking away.
I really would want to walk away, take my mind off her but I love her and I'm always thinking about her. I've started the no contact again but I don't think she considers me a part of her life now. I just wanna get over with this whole thing. My boyfriend and I broke up a week ago. We agreed to focus on improving ourselves and not date or hookup with anyone else in the 2 weeks. Well he admitted to me he went on a few dates with a girl 8th grade ex gf When he is drunk he would send me photos of them together. But we still have been talking and seeing each other frequently.
But he is also still taking her out on dates and talking to her. It just hurts so much he is so quickly enjoying dates and time with another girl. It sounds like a rebound especially since you guys were together for a period of time, and he's currently going through a novel experience by dating someone new. I encourage that you follow through with no contact, work on improving yourself, not being his emotional bolster to turn to whenever he needs someone, and give him the space to realize that he's going through a rebound.
Therefore, I can say that this does work. The response actually surprised me because she immediately suggested to meet up face to face, even is she is uncertain whether it will make a difference she says, but it seems like the right thing to do. The month of absence for me was complete hell, I was literally waiting daily to hear from her, but then wrote myself after 30 days, and received a reply. What is very strange however, is that the day after she replied "we should meet up face to face", she blocked me from her facebook until then it was all normal and visible , not unfriended me, but I can't see any posts anymore that are not public.
This is strange, and I don't understand this part. I hope that meeting her in real will bring some answers, as the break was very sudden and very strange, from everything great to a sudden complete stop. I've read on your site that it might be that some exes don't want to upset the other in case they might want to come back, but I do fear the worst scenario, that there is someone else, let's hope this is not the case. Would also be a bit soon, after 30 days In any case, whereas she said out of the blue "we will never see each other again" around new year, wanting to meet in person is progress.
Now I am not strong enough to project any strong security yet, so I hope I won't be too emotional meeting her. I know we should be all manly and have made a change, but the truth is I've been too devastated for a month to make much progress, only thinking: If you have any tips for this first meet, for which I am very nervous feels like meeting her for the first time all over again and what the block in fb linked to that means, pls let me know Hi, im 22 my ex is 23 years old.
He was my fiance for two years and we have dated 7 years. We thought about getting married this year but few years was not good for us. By the way we were waiting till marriage but still did things.. I was working because of our future, he wanted attention, and intimacy i told him we can if he wants to, but he wanted to wait, sometimes i needed attention, because he was playing games.. So i throwed my ring and told him its over.
But he didnt do anything he was tired, before that he was always telling me that im the one, he dont want to lose me. So we had a break, we wanted to start over but the thing was We've met 3 times and everything was there, we were flirting, talking, laughing but when we were talking about relashionship he was on phone smiling, i didnt show but i was jealous. But messages from him and chating was great, we were talking like we used to with romantic emojis and that he miss me.. He told me he dont want to get hurt again and that he will act like everythings perfect and will not show his feelings anymore.
What I suppose to do? How do I get back with him? If you were together with him for such a long period, and he is capable of dating other people so quickly, it either goes to show that he may have lost interest in the relationship a while back hence his priorities of meeting friends and playing games over you , or he just doesn't want to deal with the negative emotions of dealing with a break up. The new girl he's seeing is probably a rebound however, considering the time you've been with him and that's also why it may be hard for him to let go of her so soon, since it's providing for a new experience which he has not had in a long time.
We dated for about 3 months before getting together for 6 months. During the dating period we were really happy together. However, as this was my first relationship, I didn't maintain it well enough to make her happy each day like texting her as and when I'm free. We had an arguement and it got worse after. All she wanted was an apology, my time and attention.
I regreted all that has happened. Soon after she initiated to break up as I didn't try to understand and solve the issue within the two weeks. Two months after, I realize she is dating someone new, much older but he seems to be experienced enough to text her every single day including morning and night.
I'm now on NC and not sure what I can do next. It is really hard to initiate conversation with her as she is a loyal girl who sticks to a guy at a time. She will most likely ignore my message if I text. What else can I do? In this scenario, it could either lead to 2 outcomes. The first is that if the relationship you shared was meaningful, there's a likelihood that the guy she's dating now is a rebound and would eventually end. The second and worse of the two outcomes is that she has moved on to something better and isn't going to look back, because it was your first relationship and didn't maintain it well enough it's no fault of yours.
Either way, there's not much you could do right now, except pick yourself up, and focus on NC as well as moving on. If an opportunity presents itself again in the future and you feel something for her still, perhaps you could give it another shot then. How long do the rebound relationship usually last? What if the new guy is really experienced and treats her well enough of the things I didn't do?
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Is she still feeling emotional about our relationship or that she has moved on to the new guy? I only managed to understand the whole stituation after the break up and it gave me a lesson learnt. I really do hope that I can get her back together and do the right things for her to be happy. It is a torture to be waiting and thinking each day when will they eventually end. A word of advice would be to not sit around and wait for them to eventually end, because there's really no telling when it will end.
In this particular situation, I hate to break it to you, but he may or may not actually be a rebound considering that you had no prior relationship experience, so there was a limit to the impression you may have left her with. I suggest focusing on picking yourself up, and even trying to move on for the time being - you might want to consider dating again in the near future to gain more exposure as well. If she happens to break up with her current partner in the future, and an opportunity presents itself, you could always consider your options then.
I commented like a month back about my ex breaking up with me and moving onto a girl who is He is 24 and I am So it's been 3 days past the 30 day NC period and still haven't started any contact again. I didn't do so well in the no contact period. I was motivated in the beginning and still am, have been going consistently to the gym, reading motivational books, but have days where I am crying for hours. Now they are becoming more often. Also 2 weeks ago, my ex who blocked me on everything did this thing where he followed and unfollowed me on snapchat after an hour and then the next day followed me didn't follow back at all but then posted pics with her that night on instagram.
I also found out he unblocked me on all social media and even my number but made his instagram private. I'm getting too into details but I thought it was weird because I know he blocks contact with exes and apparently he's so happy with her. They haven't posted anything on instagram since that post like 2 weeks ago but all the posts are still there. I'm still confused and really let this get to me in the 2nd half of NC. I'm also really hesitant about contacting again. Do you have any advice on where to go from here?
Social media has the tendency to present a very false state of truth, where people post pictures or snaps of being happy or traveling the world, but actually have many issues they do not show. Just like how you upload snaps of going out with your friends and looking happy, your ex might be doing the same. However, if he's seen all your posts and unfollowed you after, he might be curious to see how you've been doing, and may even start to feel confused. That being said, he isn't about to just break up with his girlfriend immediately and jump back into your arms.
Time is still needed for events to unfold, but for the meantime, you should focus on why you've been feeling worse lately and crying more, instead of waiting for him or thinking too much about the situation. The likelihood of her being in a rebound relationship is dependent on the type and length of relationship the both of you shared. If things were serious and there was a meaningful relationship, it's possible that she is going through a rebound. But you also have to consider why the relationship didn't work out in the first place, because that would explain further how she feels about you.
I would recommend letting her relationship run it's course, and you shouldn't interfere with it, as it may push her further away. In the meantime, focus on the potential issues you had as a partner, and work on improving yourself. That way, when you decide to contact her again, at least there's a significant change that she may notice from you, which further sparks interest. My ex boyfriend and I dated for nearly 5 years.
I was 18 when we first started dating. We had an amazing relationship, we both knew we wanted to be together as we discussed marriage and kids. However, over 6 months ago my feelings seemed to have changed for him, I told him about it and broke up with him We were great for 2 months however his family decided to cut me off because of what I did and treated me poorly.
I lost all my confidence, I lost direction and I just knew he could do better than me. So I broke it off with him again and this was just over 4 months ago. He was devastated, he tried so hard to get me back in the first month as he told me I was the love of his life. However, when we met up one night he told me he has slept with someone at his work and basically his feelings changed towards me. I stopped contact for 7 weeks.
I heard nothing from him, so I contacted him because I found out he lost his job. We started talking again, we went for lunch and he was shocked in how well I was looking so he was messaging me a lot to hang etc He told me he missed me. He kept snap chatting me since then and I found out he was seeing the same girl he slept with from work through mutual friends as he was taking her to coffee shops and shops my friends work at. I asked him about it and he said he has no feelings for her at all and that hanging with someone because he was miserable made it easier. He is constantly with her and they were together NYE.
I decided to cut him off social media along with his family. What do you think this relationship is? Because prior to cutting him off he was sill occasionally talking to me and always snap chatting me. As he told me that if I stop talking to him there would be no hope for us in the future. I feel so confused. It could very well be a rebound relationship as he doesn't want to personally deal with the emotions of losing you, and decides to take comfort in someone else. If he is cutting you off right now, you shouldn't linger around and wait for him as you've tried reaching out once only for him to sleep with you then go back to dating the other girl.
Hi I broke up with my ex on 20th December and i was really confused The thing is that i was talking to this guy, that i thought i liked, on a social media ig and even tho my ex told me he deleted my account from his phone, he lied and a few days ago, he saw the conversation and got angry and hurt But soon after i saw him doing the same thing, even worse.
He was flirting with another girl and he was acting the way he used to act with me when we were together. Right now, the best thing to do is to give him some space to cool off. He is acting this way clearly because he is upset at your actions and wants revenge. Never let that get the better of you, and just let him know that you're sorry once more before applying no contact. I'm 19 years old, my ex is My ex-girlfriend and I were together for 2,5 years.
We broke up 6 months ago. One month after our break-up we kissed again at a festival and it was quite obvious that she wanted to get together again. She wasn't drunk when we spoke about this. However I wanted to slow things down a little bit just to give us some time to think about everything. Right after the break-up I wasn't really panicking or anything just because my friends and family took me out a lot and there was never a really a moment for me to actually think about what had happened. The main reason why we broke up it was a mutual decision was the fact that I didn't give her much attention near the end of our relationship, as I was in my first year at university and I was quite concentrated on my work.
I didn't know well how to manage my time, so we sort of lost connection. About 4 months after we broke up we started talking again and I realised that I still loved her. However, she told she had had sex with someone who then turned out to be a player. We met a couple of times before I found this article and I told her that I still loved her. She said that she was over our relationship. A couple of days ago, a friend of mine told me that she really didn't want to have a relationship with me anymore and that she was interested in someone else who apparently doesn't even look at her in real life.
I've been doing the NC-rule for about 25 days now. One day I accidently bumped into her at the supermarket and I didn't say anything to her so now she thinks I'm mad at her which a part of me is. How should I consider the guy she's interested in and should I stick to the regular 5 step-plan from this website? At this point, you should take what things are happening at face value.
You could always start off as friends first after your NC and just slowly build a connection back up if you genuinely still want her back. But never put pressure on her to make a choice since right now, both of you are not together. We got to know each other really well, had common goals, and were even talking about marriage since that was very important to him I was hesitant because he would talk about getting married 2 years from now which was early for me.
We're both in school so things started to get stressful a month in. We fought once a week then multiple times a week, all on text.
And how to move past it
We started to focus on positive things less, he said he didn't feel connected as much but everytime we saw each other, it's like we hadn't fought. It felt like he really wanted to make it work. He did mention this classmate he worked on a project with and went to her apartment. Both his exes cheated on him so he had trust issues so he said he would never do that to me or go behind my back.
I mentioned a guy my friend was trying to set me up with to help me move on I told my ex I wasn't interested but he didn't like it. Do you have any advice? It seems like he's trying to get back at you, and this girl is probably a rebound that was emotionally there for him during the times you guys were fighting. If he really has nothing in common with her, they would not last.
Also, based on what you told me and how fast they jumped right into things, it would seem like she's most likely a rebound. At times like these, it really does pay off to keep things as simple and clean as possible. So, bumping into an ex with or without his new girlfriend was always going to involve drama in one way or another.
follow Whether that was crying in a corner all night, flirting with other boys right in front of them or making a dramatic exit, subtlety was not my forte. People will always tend to remember the person who acts immaturely, not the reason for them to do so. Firstly, do all you can to avoid going to places your ex and his new partner are likely to be — at least for a good months, or until you genuinely feel OK about it all.
Perhaps meditate beforehand, and visualise yourself seeing them together and being OK with it. Go in there with your head held high. Then get the hell out of there having something nice planned for after always helps. Look, we all know that seeing the person you once loved with someone new is pretty devastating. It makes us question whether what we had together was even real, and it can even make us feel totally despondent about ever finding love and happiness in a relationship again.
Just pick yourself up, dust yourself off and start over. He was no longer in my life anyway, so what difference did it really make whether he was single or not? The ONLY thing that matters now is that you devote all your time and energy into becoming the happiest, healthiest version of you, not into obsessing over your ex.
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